"Forgiveness is a Choice.
Trust is a Process"

"Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, REBUKE HIM; and IF HE REPENT, FORGIVE HIM". Jesus, Luke 17:3 KJV (Capitals are mine for emphasis)

EVEN THOUGH WE ARE TO LIVE IN A SPIRIT OF FORGIVENESS, AND NOT CARRY GRUDGES, JESUS TELLS US TO REBUKE THOSE WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US

Let us take another look at the subject of forgiveness and trust. Contrary to the teaching of some, Jesus does not expect His followers to be "doormats", and let everyone run over them at will. Even though we are to live in a spirit of forgiveness, and not carry grudges, Jesus tells us to rebuke those who trespass against us. Offenders need to know when they offend, and told to change their ways and stop their offensive behavior. According to our Lord, forgiveness is to be offered when the offender repents. We are not to allow people to run rough-shod over our convictions, and act like nothing has happened. How will others ever learn that they have wronged us unless we tell them.

TRUST HAS TO BE EARNED. IT DOES NOT HAPPEN OVERNIGHT

To forgive others is a choice which we make. But, when it comes to trusting that person again it takes time. It is a process. Trust has to be earned. It does not happen overnight. When out of the blue someone asks me to trust them a red flag goes up. Trust is not something that another person asks for, but it is a proven performance over a period of time. It is based on honesty, with realistic evaluations about the behavior and character of the person in question.

IT IS HIGH TIME THIS MYTH AND LIE OF THE DEVIL BE EXPOSED

Too many people take advantage of those who easily forgive them of all their trespasses. They consider them to be "soft touches". I have had to learn that with people who are always wanting to borrow money. Most of them never paid me back. I had to learn that they thought they could "use me", as I was "a Christian", and "a minister of the gospel", so they felt I would be "forgiving", and never demand that they repay the debt which they had incurred. One of their favorite ploys is to "use guilt", and to say that we are supposed to be understanding of their circumstances because we follow the Lord. It is high time this myth and lie of the devil be exposed.

GOD DOES NOT EXPECT US TO LET OTHERS "PLAY MIND GAMES WITH US"

We choose to forgive, but that does not mean we will let that person continue to stomp all over us again and again. To do so makes us "enablers of a dishonest lifestyle". Once "taken", we can chalk it up to experience, but to be taken again makes us a fool. "Don't you trust me?" they will ask. To which we must reply, "I am watching you. When you show me over a period of time that you can be consistently trusted, then I will trust you". God does not expect us to let others "play mind games with us". This is a misuse of the principle of forgiveness. We can choose to forgive when the offender repents, but when it comes to trust, that takes time.

Bishop Marvin Schmidt